AFS

Before I went to Malaysia I was just a normal Alaskan kid. It was the 80's, I wasn't part of the popular crowd, but I was comfortable. I had friends and I enjoyed school (not that I'd EVER repeat high school, I think people who want to are missing marbles), I was interested in the world. I made friends with the exchange students, or they made friends with me (not sure which, not sure it matters). In my sophomore year I made friends with an AFS student from Italy who told me I should be an exchange student too. So I signed (took a little cajoling of my parents, but we made it happen). Originally I wanted to go to Switzerland because it would be closer to where my Italian friend lived, but still French speaking, I was in French I after all. Unfortunately for Switzerland, but fortunately for me AFS lost my application for a northern hemisphere country and they suggested I reapply for a winter departure. So I put Malaysia at the top of my list of choices because I'd been introduced to another AFS student from Malaysia, and thought it sounded fun.

When I was 13 I went on a trip with my 8th grade Social Studies teacher and 30 other 8th-11th graders from our area to Europe. Just under three weeks, all over western Europe (except the Iberian Penninsula), no parents. It was an incredible experience. And for me, it was only minimally about all the sights and museums that I saw. It was about growing in independence.

Becoming an exchange student just seemed like a natural extension of that trip. Before I left for Malaysia I got a letter with photos of my new host family from AFS Malaysia. I also got a little booklet that gave me pointers on major cultural differences and a little bit of information about their language (literally they gave us the words for Yes and No).

As an adult I know so many people who have never left their home town, or if they have, they've always gone back. I know so many people who see things that are different from they way they do them as weird or even wrong (not that I don't believe in rights and wrongs).

It never occurred to me to see all the cultural differences I encountered as weird, and certainly not wrong. Everything was just different, and I just adapted and enjoyed myself. It was another time of growing.

Now, years later I am an AFS volunteer, I've been a liaison many times, my husband and I have hosted, and I've worked as a general volunteer. Last week was the final orientation for our students from this past year, before returning to their home countries. The orientations often ask questions about growth and change. What I find interesting, is in explaining the questions to the students, I often try to draw from my own experience. I never seem to be able to pinpoint where I grew. I'm sure that those around me could offer suggestions. I remember thinking I was more patient coming back than before because of all the time spent waiting for buses. But I can't really pin much down. I just know I'm different.

I guess that's ok too, it helps me to realize it's ok if the students don't always know what to say to those questions. I don't either.